Beautiful (12)

Hmm....what should i write about???

I'll give you a couple funny jokes. :P 

Shopping Frenzy

I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to
flicker overhead. 'That,' he sighed, 'must be her checking out now.'

:P

Who is this calling?

The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself. This is the actual conversation of the telephone call.

Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly so-and-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"

Kelly: "This is my mother."

 :D...and my favorite chain mail...

KidsAreQuick ____________________________________ TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find  North  America. MARIA:         Here it  is. TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered  America? CLASS:          Maria. ____________________________________   TEACHER: John,  why are you doing your math multiplication on  the floor? JOHN:          You told me to do it  without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell  'crocodile?' GLENN:          K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER:  No,  that's wrong GLENN:          Maybe it is wrong, but you  asked me how I spell it.   (I  Love this kid) ____________________________________________ TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for  water? DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. TEACHER:  What are you talking  about? DONALD:      Yesterday you said it's H to O.   __________________________________ TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have  today that we didn't have ten years  ago. WINNIE:       Me! __________________________________________   TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so  dirty? GLEN:             Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you  are.   _______________________________________ TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting  with ' I.' MILLIE:           I  is.. TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.' MILLIE:            All right...  'I am  the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      ________________________________ TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down  his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.   Now, Louie, do you know why his father  didn't punish him? LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his  hand.     ______________________________________   TEACHER: Now,  Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers  before eating? SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my  Mom is a good cook.   ______________________________ TEACHER:    Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the  same as your brother's. Did you copy  his? CLYDE:        No, sir. It's the same dog.   ___________________________________ TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who  keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested? HAROLD:    A teacher __________________________________